I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You were trust falling into bushes
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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