i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
