CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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