It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
