I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
