The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
whose parrot is this?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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