I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
