I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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