the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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