He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
