Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
