So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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