woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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