just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
