I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
