Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
