at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
