she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
