I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
