on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
