youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i will never coherently bang her
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
