My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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