That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
