Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
