my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
