I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
