Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize