remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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