my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
