i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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