I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
