I'm eating all of the evidence.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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