it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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