Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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