I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
