new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize