Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
