I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We left the knife in your bed.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
