It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
