Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
