Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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