New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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