did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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