True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
you had me at cake vodka
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize
