I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
