Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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