hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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