if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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