You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
