Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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