I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I need to calm my uterus...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
