im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
